Dear valued customer:
Imagine, if you will, the following letter were to arrive in your mailbox. It becomes more clear that the situation is not beneficial for the customer or the congressmen, when cast in this new light.
Dear valued customer:
We at Graham-Cassidy Ford, Lincoln, Mercury aim to provide what we promise. Our records show we were hired to deliver you a stable, reliable vehicle and we've yet to fulfill our promise. We apologize for the delay. However, we do intend to deliver a car to you. After all, that is what we promised. Many unfulfilled orders, including yours, will hopefully be filled by the end of the year, as the dealership has just secured a stockpile of candy-apple red 1972 Ford Pintos.
These proud, historic automobiles served to convey our parents and grandparents from point A to point B for almost a decade. The car is a sensible size, built on classical angles and proportions — an overall reminder of the pride of American design. We're proud to be redistributing this icon of strength and ingenuity. The legacy of the Ford Pinto is one of which Graham-Cassidy Ford, Lincoln, Mercury is proud.
Our Congressional sales team is aware the Pinto was the center of litigation in the 1970s. In fact, investigations found the Pinto was prone to fuel tank damage, leakage and fire in the event of a rear-end collision. The litigation resulted in Ford being charged with three counts of reckless homicide. There were also concerns regarding the model's transmission. Frankly, as our own Regional Sales Manager Chuck Grassley pointed out in Iowa, there are probably 10 things wrong with the car, but we at Graham-Cassidy Ford, Lincoln, Mercury promised you — the valued customer — a stable, reliable vehicle, and we must deliver a vehicle.
Graham-Cassidy Ford, Lincoln, Mercury and its parent company, Congressional Used Cars LLC, have never intentionally fallen short on a promise to a customer.
The final paper work is being drawn up for the Pinto stockpile to be distributed to citizens all across our great nation. Again, while we regret the delay, Graham-Cassidy Ford, Lincoln, Mercury is proud of the progress that has been made filling the public's orders, as they should have been from the beginning.
On a final note, under Graham-Cassidy Ford, Lincoln, Mercury's sales agreement, individual states may choose to prohibit their residents from purchasing the Pintos we intend to provide. In such cases, the state will supply a cobalt-blue 1975 Mercury Bobcat. This agreement will allow the states more control of their individual marketplaces, but will ultimately result in the same service and product for the driver.
Lindsey Graham — Founder, South Carolina
Bill Cassidy — CEO, Louisiana