My survivor story
* October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. CAASA (Centers Against Abuse and Sexual Assault) will be publishing four survivor stories during the month. This is the second story. This survivor would like to remain nameless.
It's dark. It's lonely. It's unpredictable. It's all your fault. It's the terrifying feeling of being a victim of domestic violence. My story with domestic abuse started with the end of one chapter in my life, trying to begin another one. Knowing I had failed a marriage and hoping to find happiness, only to end up feeling as if I was standing in a tunnel with no end, no light in sight.
Unsure of where to turn, not wanting to give up, not wanting to fail again and at the same time, not realizing the severity of what my mind, body, and soul were going through. When I look back on this time in my life, everything is now so clear to me, the abuser fit the mold, but I was too afraid to see it, too afraid to give up and if I did, who else would want a person like me?
The mind games, the manipulation, the jealousy, the hiding, lying, hurting, were all things that I now realize no person, not even me, deserves. If any of this sounds familiar to you, you are not alone. My story with domestic violence ended with me taking control, seeking help, and realizing it was not my fault. CAASA was an intricate part in my survival. They were there for me and helped to guide me to the light that now shines so bright in my life. It is not your fault, it is not OK, it is not normal. It's your life, it's about you, your hopes, dreams and desires. Be strong. Stand tall. Get help, you can't do it alone.
Submitted by CAASA