Letter to the Editor

Boyz & Berries - A male perspective

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I was honored to weekend in your community, and accompanied my wife and sister-in-law to lunch. They selected Boyz & Berries.

Man-law requires me to notify other males about this experience. Upon arrival, you immediately notice perfumed air, non-masculine décor and the dearth of fellow males. I considered going outside to chew on dandelion leaves and parking lot gravel. But I noticed a solitary, lonely male, similarly trapped. Man-law required me to stay and provide support to that poor soul, as well as other men who might subsequently appear.

Once seated, the menus were, well...frilly. I also noticed a serious lack of red meat on the menu. Thankfully, it offered a beef sandwich, so I could eat. French fries, or any other body-polluting offerings, were not available. Thankfully there was salt on the table, so extra salt was able to compensate for the lack of grease.

Predictably, the room was filled with non-stop, deep, meaningful female conversation. No men were simply eating their food in dignified, focused silence in respect to the calorie-gods.

The meal ended, but it wasn't over. The bill came...individual tallies were printed on frilly-edged pieces of paper. They were so frilly that I barely notice the totals...I only wanted to pay and escape as gracefully as possible.

So, men, beware. Man-law requires me to alert you to this potential situation. To be fair, the service was impeccable, the food flawlessly prepared and presented, and the prices were reasonable. But, men, be warned...we're all in this together.

Marlon Vogt