Columns: Seth Boyes | Dickinson County News

Seth Boyes

Having contributed as a staff writer at the Spencer Daily Reporter for just shy of a year, Seth Boyes joined the Dickinson County News staff in March of 2017. During his time in Spencer, Boyes wrote as a general assignment reporter and focused mainly on city and county government. Boyes graduated from Iowa State University in 2009 with a degree in Integrated Studio Arts. Following his graduation, he and his wife, Janet, lived in Iowa City for a time. Boyes worked in a packing and shipping center, while his wife completed her degree in dentistry from the University of Iowa. The couple then spent a year in Fort Dodge, before moving to Spirit Lake in 2015. Both he and his wife hail from Clear Lake and have come to expect summers to be full of the hustle and bustle of tourists and visitors.

Baby, it's time to move on (12/11/18)

In this ever-changing world in which we're living, song lyrics can come back and bite you. It's nearing Christmas time, and the holiday touchstone "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is being put on the black list for some on the airwaves. Which of course is making folks mad. ...
'All things are connected' (12/4/18)

Well, zis, boom, bah. Two of the uncertainties hanging over the heads of Iowa ag producers are on a bit more solid footing this week. Not only did the United State Mexico Canada Agreement get signed by President Trump as a replacement for the former North American Free Trade Agreement, but the Environmental Protective Agency announced this coming year's renewable fuel volumes obligations. ...
The legacy of Smilin' Stan (11/20/18)

Though I realize it's a bit of old news at this point, I find it impossible to ignore the passing of comic book titan Stan Lee. Moreover, I find it poetic he passed the day after Veterans Day. Many aren't aware, but Stan the Man (birth name Stanley Lieber) served in the Army during World War II — one of only a few men categorized as playwrights (another being Theodor Geisel, a.k.a. ...
My accidental Veterans Day insult (11/13/18)

My fellow Americans, I have a confession to make. Quite by accident, I realized I may have actually offended a large group of people Monday morning … while the national anthem played … at a Veterans Day assembly. It was just one of those situations when we find ourselves making a potentially bigger mess while trying to be considerate — like holding the door open for someone, only to realize you hit someone on the other side squarely on the nose...
Power of the people (11/6/18)

Election Day will not satisfy us. We often think it will, but it won't. Each side hopes their chosen "wave" (both of which sound like Kool-aid flavors to me) will win the day and right everything wrong with society. If only it were that easy. Fact of the matter is, problems will persist no matter which primary color dominates the government - local or national. ...
The tally machine (10/30/18)

It's nearing the time of year again when ladies and gents dawn fancy dress and celebrate All Hallow's Eve. Not to be left out, this column is again in its own fancy dress just to add a bit of seasonal fun. For once, I was fairly prepared. It took some shower singing and some early morning note jotting, but I think this column — at least at first glance — could pass for the later handy work of a founding member of the Quarrymen (you may know the name John Lennon). ...
Memes for the betterment of humanity (10/23/18)

Humor is an ever-changing spectrum, and we may be starting to see some new colors in that spectrum thanks to the digital revolution. The format of the magazine caption contest has mutated and multiplied on the information highway and now calls itself a meme. ...
Aftershocks or eagle's wings (10/9/18)

We individually may tire of discussing the finer points of the Kavanaugh-Ford-investigation-setup-circus, but we collectively have plenty of steam. Fortunately, this steamer may be closing in on the light at the end of the tunnel. Kavanaugh is now the newest Supreme Court Justice. There's not much to be done at this point...
The rock, the hard place and the octopus (10/2/18)

The Brett Kavanaugh confirmation is all anyone seems to be talking about. We're all in a bustle about his potential appointment to the highest court in the land. I mean, hardly anyone was watching the video the seal who threw an octopus at a kayaker last week. All right, one of those happenings might be more important than the other...
Hunger pangs (9/18/18)

The crisp autumn air brings a lot of memories with it, many of them pleasant. The wind carries the scent of homecoming football games, comfortable sweaters and, for some, the seasonal resurrection of pumpkin spice. I share in most of those, but I've been mentally blindsided by a more somber memory the last few years. ...
Delaying justice (9/11/18)

There were shouts, there were pleas and there was Sen. Chuck Grassley reservedly tapping his gavel in an attempt to maintain order. I'm talking, of course, about the confirmation hearings of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. There's apparently millions of documents to potentially review. ...
Good fellas (9/4/18)

There's a whole list of rules for crafting a good story. They were hand-written by the DCN's Editor Russ Mitchell in black dry erase marker on the whiteboard a long time ago, and they continue to hold true. Of course, there's a litany of writing tips he's shared that didn't make whiteboard status. ...
Evil knows no borders (8/28/18)

The story of who killed Iowa girl Mollie Tibbetts is nearly complete. Cristhian Bahena Rivera has been charged with her murder and is going to trial. Authorities initially said Rivera was an undocumented immigrant, but now even that is being challenged. Nonetheless, the left is telling the right not to politicize this case, just as the right told the left not to politicize school shootings earlier this year. We all hold our preferred causes quite dearly...
Pondering infinite purpose (8/14/18)

The true role a community paper has been on my mind quite a bit over the last several days. It's easy to think the goal of the paper is to sell as many of those clean, crisp, freshly-printed sheets as possible, but I'm beginning to see that is actually not the goal...
Math is fun (8/7/18)

Trade Aid isn't the latest news but, now that there are rumblings of another government shutdown, I'm starting to feel like it was the first light tap in a combo that will bruise if not stagger the economy. The president has said the government might face a shutdown if the $18 billion he was hoping would fund his prized southern border wall aren't secured. ...
What's in a name? (7/17/18)

There's something important about a byline. It's not about credit, and it's not about notoriaty, but it's important. It's about accountability. It's about credibility. I think it was probably put best during a recent newsroom discussion. We don't deal in information. ...
Gerhardt and the wall (6/26/18)

A medieval metaphor for modern times. Alexander paused for a moment on a parapet of the castle in which he was born. He knew the world outside the wall could not be trusted. There were thieves. There were killers. But he assumed there were good people as well. ...
The benefits of a broken downspout (6/19/18)

I've long held that bad things happen to spur us toward good things. It's always counterintuitive, and I never seem to remember it in the moment, but I believe it's true. Case in point, a downspout came apart on the far corner of my house at some point in the past few months. As a result, all of the rain we had in the relatively recent past had been gushing straight down behind a bush where I couldn't see it until there started to be more visible signs inside the house...
My Muslim-made wedding cake (6/5/18)

Though you can buy recreational marijuana in the Denver, Colorado, you might have some trouble buying a wedding cake in Lakewood, Colorado, if you're a same-sex couple. The Supreme Court reversed a Colorado court decision which ruled Jack Phillips of Masterpiece Cakeshop violated state discrimination laws when he refused to bake a cake for the 2012 wedding reception of David Mullins and Charlie Craig. ...
Melding good from bad (5/22/18)

I was prepared. I was prepared to talk about how school safety had prevailed. I was prepared to talk about how a gun was used to save lives. I was prepared to talk about how a trained officer prevented tragedy without losing a single life — not even the attacker's. I was prepared to say we were getting somewhere...
Prairie gems shine bright (5/15/18)

There was a little regional hubbub the other week when the Iowa Secretary of Agriculture announced 10 of the state's newest urban conservation water quality demonstration projects. That's a heck of a state title. Anyway, the state is giving just over $789,000 in total for the projects and the cities themselves are pitching in more than $3 million altogether. ...
Stuck in the middle (4/25/18)

The nation paused to mourn the death of first lady Barbara Bush. Well, not everybody. A certain English professor at California State University - Fresno (or Fresno State University, depending who you ask) made some remarks about Mrs. Bush which caught fire in the public arena. They have even led some sponsors of the university to consider pulling their funding, according to the Fresno Bee. Of course, not all of them plan to, but enough to spark a discussion...
Stone digits (4/17/18)

We often think of growth as the process of keeping knowledge and experience preserved under glass somewhere inside our being. I think we all do it from time to time because we view knowledge and experience as a finite mound to be finished through consumption, when perhaps it's more like trying to drink a waterfall. It just keeps coming and every drop is different than the last...
Soft targets (4/10/18)

I promise, next week I will find something unrelated to gun violence to write about. But, I would no doubt be remiss if I didn't talk about the latest shooting to plague the American public after I spent last week's column discussing aspects of the Parkland protests. ...
Loathsome honey (4/3/18)

Keep eating the same thing and it will nauseate you. I'm getting sick of it, but Parkland's in the spotlight again after the march. You may ask why I bring it up, if I'm so tired of it — and, admittedly I'm mostly tired of the uninformed attacks against it — but it's because one of our local politicians has connected northwest Iowa to the issue. ...
To fill the breach (3/27/18)

It feels like I should be whittling something out of an old hickory switch and flicking a thinly structured rocking chair back and forth on my heels when I say it but … (throat clearing noises) In my day, Facebook was used for one thing and one thing only — communication. There were no games on Facebook. You could only post text and you got one picture to let people know what you actually looked like...
Solutions are rarely so simple (2/27/18)

Deep breath in … and out. Arming teachers is a bad idea. I won't deny that seems like a solution on the surface, but it's fueled by the idea that the best defense is a good offense. Offensive victory is not something our educational system is prepared for, nor should it be. More over, I've yet to hear a feasible plan for implementing such an idea in our schools...
Our common response (2/20/18)

I, like TV host Jimmy Kimmel, am very tired of our current tragedies. The Columbine shootings took place when I was just beginning middle school and, for some ungodly reason, school shootings have continued into my adulthood with alarming frequency. Again, I'm tired of them. Worse, we've let such shootings become common, and as such, our response to them has become common — "thoughts and prayers."...
'We choose both' (2/6/18)

It's difficult to not to draw comparisons sometimes in life. This week perhaps exemplified some of our worst human tendencies when a train loaded with Republican lawmakers, including Rep. Steve King, Sen. Joni Ernst and southwestern Iowa's Rep. David Young, collided with a garbage truck near Charlottesville, Virginia. I would like to say the masses didn't disappoint with their responses, but they did...
Hope for the patch-work creation (1/23/18)

It's the 200th anniversary of the tale of the patch-work man. You know it better as Frankenstein. Author Mary Shelley sat down in 1818 to create a story about a patch-work man and ultimately penned the story about trying to answer fundamental questions about life itself. ...
Quest for a coin (1/2/18)

The second column of mine that ever saw the light of day in the black and white pages of the Spencer Daily Reporter detailed my quest to find the origins of an antique soda bottle that was evidently filled in Spencer. As it turned out, the bottle's origins could be traced back to the Spencer Community Theatre. At the time, I was taken with the idea of retracing the historical serendipity that fell in my lap...
The bright side (11/14/17)

If “Life of Brian” taught me anything, it's to always look on the bright side of life. The final scene of Montey Python's classic films ends with several men being crucified while singing (and whistling) a tune literally titled "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life." Speaking of sacrilegious moments: Did you hear the one about the Alabama State Auditor who compared an alleged case of sexual abuse involving a Senate candidate to the relationship between the Messiah's parents? I never would have thought someone who started something called the Foundation for Moral Law would need so much defending — inept as it may be.. ...
Be it peace or be it war (10/24/17)

At this time last year, I figuratively dressed my column in a literary costume prior to Halloween's arrival. Some may recall the piece written in the (cheaply imitated) pen of one Theodor Geisel. I rather enjoyed the idea, although it was lost on some readers who found my dime-store version of our beloved Dr. ...
Dear valued customer: (9/26/17)

Imagine, if you will, the following letter were to arrive in your mailbox. It becomes more clear that the situation is not beneficial for the customer or the congressmen, when cast in this new light. Dear valued customer: We at Graham-Cassidy Ford, Lincoln, Mercury aim to provide what we promise. ...
The Spirit of Radio (9/12/17)

While the hurricanes in the Gulf Coast are winding down, my hackles are raising over a few comments made by the boisterous radio personality Rush Limbaugh (don’t take that to be an effort by your local media to boost sales in the dog breeding business). ...
For want of a cracker (8/23/17)

The little box labeled August 21 on the calendar at my desk has had a note on it for months now. That was the date of the total solar eclipse. I’ve been pretty jazzed about the day for awhile. Eclipses are just one of those rare events that holds our attention, inspires a sense of awe and reminds us our lives are as brief as a tick or a tock on the giant clock of creation...
Harvest Time (8/8/17)

The corn is well past knee-high but it isn’t quite time to reap what’s been sown. Fortunately, I’m not talking about the corn. I’m actually talking about my hair. It’s under new ownership. The photo accompanying this column is no longer accurate and I may even be able to blend into a crowd once in awhile...
‘Death doesn’t discriminate’ (8/1/17)

If you’re like me, the President’s announcement regarding a ban on transgender individuals serving in any military capacity — and I’ll stress any capacity — seems a bit out of left field. If you had your ear to the ground, you probably heard the rumblings coming down the track when the Joint Chiefs of Staff requested a plan to allow transgendered servicemen be delayed for further study. ...
Aww, SNAP! (7/19/17)

I would be willing to bet not many of us would think of cutting back on our grocery budget or medical care to pay for a new door lock — or a multi-million dollar fence for that matter. Well, Iowa’s own Rep. Steve King is proposing something along those lines. ...
Seth's soapbox (7/11/17)

Summer is the time for major blockbuster movies, as we all know. Such blockbusters have been super-hero comic book movies since about 2002, when Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man breathed new life into the genre. This weekend, the latest portrayal of the web-slinger debuted in the U.S. ...
A state of being (7/3/17)

The recent passing of a friend and frequent customer has reminded me of how Iowa is often perceived by other parts of the country. Some think Iowans are unqualified to hold the first caucus. Some think our state is covered in hog confinements. Some think we wear overalls and speak with southern accents. Some even think we’re the potato state. We’ve heard them all...
A difficult proposition (6/20/17)

This isn’t going to be easy. It may even tread a few paces into the domain of the pastor’s column. I, like many, was shocked by the news of a lone gunman opening fire on the Republican baseball team this week. Let me be clear. This was a horrible thing for that man to do. You don’t just go around shooting people because you don’t like their political priorities. It was an ill-founded, ill-conceived and ill-fated attempt to resolve misplaced anger. Plain and simple...
Of Paris and the future (6/6/17)

One just can’t keep up these days. This is the third column I’ve drafted in as many days. Each day, another social issue overshadows my previous draft and I can’t help but at least get my thoughts out on paper. First, wind energy got overshadowed by the latest addition to the “Fearless Girl” scenario. Next, the “Fearless Girl” got overshadowed by Kathy Griffin’s stunt. Now, that subject’s been eclipsed by the withdraw from the Paris Climate Accord. We’ll see if this one can make it to print...
Freeze Frame (5/23/17)

It’s graduation season, or rather it was graduation season. Cameras were flashing, or rather phones were flashing. Man, me and my big, old camera lens are starting to stick out more and more when I go out on assignment. At least I’m not using actual film...
I’m not an Iowan (5/9/17)

Actually I am an Iowan — born and raised. Don’t worry. You’ll see where I’m going. This past weekend, my wife and I traveled to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, to see a stage show at the Washington Pavillion. Now, I’m not embarrassed to tell you, I don’t like city traffic. I don’t like merging into tight spaces. I don’t like people exceeding the speed limit by 15 miles per hour. I don’t like a lot of things about it. Courtesy seems to go out the window once there are six lanes for some reason...
The one-two punch (5/3/17)

We’ve had a bit of a one-two punch to the country’s collective conscience. It hit us from both sides. I’d say it was more of a right hook followed by a left jab. Just the other day, President Donald Trump said people don’t often ask why the Civil War couldn’t be resolved and said Andrew Jackson could have prevented it. ...
Analyzing the divide (5/2/17)

We’ve progressed beyond the cross roads. I feel as if we’re emulating the future H.G. Wells described in “The Time Machine.” Humanity seems to be dividing itself into two distinct groups, bound for ever-diverging paths. I’m having some trouble fully articulating just what is fueling this divide. We’ve certainly done a great deal of describing what it has resulted in over the last several months. Yet, my instincts tell me there is something seemingly small and simple at the heart of it all...
Stop all the dancing (4/18/17)

Take a deep breath until your stomach puffs out. Now imagine you swallowed a handful of gravel. Now pretend you’re trying to cough that gravel back up. That noise you’re making is how I feel when I think about our country’s posturing. We’ve done it before and I would personally prefer to avoid this old song and dance. We’ve been twirling around in this vicious socio-economic-political ballroom for too long and it’s making me sick. One-two-three-one-two-three-one-two-three...
The give and take of offenses (4/12/17)

I seem to find myself in this position more and more these days. There’s just so many things one could comment on in the public eye. Initially, I wanted to talk about the Pepsi commercial that recently got pulled. But that’s getting to be old news at this point. Fortunately, it wasn’t long before the White House Press Secretary supplied the masses with a new fresh-off-the-griddle social faux pas as only Sean Spicer can...
Got me again (4/7/17)

I’m terrible with dates. I once said, with full confidence, that Thanksgiving was always Nov. 25. So, it shouldn’t be too surprising that I forget April Fool’s Day every year. These days, I’m not plagued by whoopee cushions and buckets of water so much as I’m plagued by electronic gags from people more clever than I. We all remember the saying, “If it’s in print it must be true.” Well, it’s the electronic age now and people are more clever and just as funny...
The persistence of memory (3/31/17)

Much to the dismay of some in my family, Dr. Oz was interrupted on Friday for a breaking news story. The bulletin informed the public that the vote to repeal the Affordable Care Act was not going to be voted on yet. That’s right. We are at the point in our society when we feel the need to let everyone know nothing is going to happen...
It’s a sign of the times (3/24/17)

There’s an old sailor’s superstition that you should not whistle while at sea. The thinking was, if sailors whistled, the wind would take it as a challenge and refuse to blow, slacking the sails and stranding the crew. I think of that superstition from time to time concerning the weather we enjoy, or tolerate, in Iowa...