I don't like soccer, but I love America.
Therefore, I am enthralled with the World Cup.
Is there anything more American than not giving a crap about something for three out of four years and then losing your mind when you spot a team sporting the Red, White and Blue?
As the great patriot Earl Dibbles Jr. tweeted, "I'll watch a [dang] rock, paper, scissors competition as long as the USA is playing."
I nearly lost my voice during the Portugal match.
I grabbed my head in disbelief when Portugal scored within the first five minutes to lead 1-0.
I screamed and pumped my fist when Jermaine Jones sent that rocket bending into the net to tie at 1-1.
I ran around my apartment hooting and hollering when Clint Dempsey connected to go up 2-1.
And I nearly cried when Varela's header forced a draw in the 94th minute.
Tessa thought I had lost it.
"You realize you're watching soccer, right?" she asked.
Yes, I realize this is soccer.
The same sport I have made fun of my entire life.
The same sport I mocked others for wasting their time watching.
The sport I'm a little bit ashamed to admit is starting to grow on me.
I can at least admit that I can finally understand the allure:
* Constant action
* Very few commercial breaks
* Scores so few and far between that each one matters
* Cool haircuts and tattoos
I get it.
My friend Erik, who has been a soccer fan for quite some time, can't stand that everyone has caught World Cup fever.
He clenches his jaw whenever he sees Facebook or Twitter posts cheering for the USMNT.
He rolls his eyes when people can't seem to grasp how we advanced despite losing to Germany 1-0.
All of this fake soccer fandom has him up in arms.
I sympathize with him, I really do.
Of course, when the World Cup comes to an end, my soccer viewing will as well. It's not like I'm going to sign up for season tickets to an MLS franchise. In fact, I couldn't even name one.
I will go back to mocking soccer players for flopping, and soccer fans for watching every minute of a 0-0 draw.
So call me a bandwagoner.
I don't care.
For now, I'm the world's biggest Clint Dempsey fan. I will hope and pray for Jozy Altidore to have a speedy recovery. I will tell everyone within earshot that Tim Howard is my boy. I will refer to Jurgen Klinsmann as "Klinsy".